The Best Damn Thing
by KuroiAgeha
Summary: Yuffie's pressing Tifa about a certain blonde. Will she crack?


**A/N: **_I wrote this a long time ago, when I had my other account on here before. But due to how things were being moderated on here back then, I took everything off that account. But now i'm putting it back up. _

_...but please bear in mind that this is years old! (And i'm not very good at writing!)_

* * *

'…So… how was it?'

Tifa almost dropped the glass she was holding to shoot a disgusted glance at the dark haired ninja sitting at her bar. Yuffie had somehow found out about the night she spent with Cloud underneath the Highwind before fighting Sephiroth. Actually, it wasn't a surprise that she knew considering Cid and Barret had been listening the whole time. The memory of the smirks on their faces made Tifa's own face glow a brilliant red, which Yuffie took to mean something.

'Aha! He was good, wasn't he? I thought so.'

'Yuffie…' Tifa sighed exasperatedly, carrying on with the washing up. 'I'm not going to tell you anything, so you may as well drop it.'

'Oh come oooonn—' Yuffie let out an annoying high-pitched whine in an attempt to annoy Tifa into telling her. Unfortunately for her, Tifa lived with two extremely bright children who had already tried the idea. She merely huffed at her and continued to wipe the glass in her hand.

'Come on, Teef! We're the only girls in the group; we ought to have some girly talk! I won't tell anyone, I promise!'

'Yuffie, you promised you wouldn't steal any more materia from us. Look how that turned out.'

Yuffie scowled sulkily, and reached for her back pocket, pulling out a glowing green materia and setting it huffily on the bar under the disapproving stare of Tifa's dark chocolate eyes.

'Fine. But look, I gave it back! So you can trust me, right?'

'You have a very warped idea of Trust, Yuffie.'

They continued to argue for a good ten minutes in which Yuffie gave up the whining and tried pretending not to care. However, upon seeing the futility of this tactic, she tried several others; threatening, blackmail, being extra nice (which only weirded Tifa out more). After a little while of Tifa firm denials, Yuffie was about to give up when Cid and Barret conveniently walked into the room. Seizing the chance for extra back-up, she cornered them as soon as they sat down. They agreed out of mere curiosity, which left Tifa facing three people vehemently questioning her about Cloud.

'Come on, Tifa,' Cid tried to reason with her, failing miserably. 'We already know you guys did it, and it sure sounded like both of you were enjoying it…'

'Oh, Cid, please, shut up…' Tifa's face burned as she turned away from the three. 'You think I wanted you to hear that? It would have been kinder if you had never told me you did.'

'But we did hear it,' boomed Barret, a large amused grin plastering his stubbly face. 'So you may as well tell us the rest!'

Tifa frowned.

'That was supposed to be just between me and Cloud, its private!' She tried to make them see her point of view, but judging by the excitedly curious looks on their faces, she was fighting a losing battle. 'You wouldn't want me to ask about you and Shera, Cid, or you and your wife, Myrna, Barret…'

She turned to Yuffie with a devilish grin, suddenly realising that she had something on Yuffie that would possibly make her stop this inquisition.

'And you probably wouldn't want me to ask about you and… your partner, Yuffie.'

To her immense disappointment, Yuffie merely laughed and stuck her tongue out at Tifa.

'Ask away! Cid and Barret found out anyway.'

'What?'

She looked to the others and noticed Cid trying to hide a grimace. Tifa raised an eyebrow in question.

'Eh…' Cid reluctantly admitted. 'I walked in 'er and Vince… um… while they were busy.'

'An' he jus' had to come and let me know,' Barret finished for him. '"Ahh, dear god, he's eatin' her alive!" Like I reeeally wanted to know that, Cid.'

Yuffie just looked bored, totally unfazed.

'Well, you should knock before you come in.'

'To the living room?'

'Wait a minute,' interrupted Tifa. 'Whose living room?'

Yuffie was silent, before shooting a dirty glance at Cid before continuing.

'Aaanyway, this is about Tifa, not me!' she reminded them loudly. 'So, come on, Teef, what's Cloud like?'

After taking a mental note to burn the throw she draped over the sofa in the living room, Tifa sighed, preparing herself for more onslaughts.

'Again, Yuffie, not gonna tell you.'

The questions started again, and with the three of them Tifa was beginning to feel very flustered.

'You know you wanna tell us, really.'

'What's he like under all those clothes?'

'Yuffie… we don't really wanna know that…'

'Well, I do!'

'Why?'

'Oh, come on, if you were a girl, you would!'

'No way!'

'Yeah, I guess…' They all paused to look at Barret, puzzled. Clearing his throat, he shook his head.

'Uh, I mean, no, definitely not!'

'Come on, Tiiifaaaa!' Yuffie started with the whining again. Tifa finally snapped and screwed up her face in anger and frustration, shouting.

'ALRIGHT! Okay! Cloud is amazing, alright? He's the best damn sex I've ever had. Is that what you wanna hear?'

She opened her eyes to see three wide-eyed, shocked, white faces staring at her. Or at least she thought it was behind her. When she noticed that they were actually staring at the doorframe behind her, she suddenly felt a sinking feeling in her stomach.

'The best you've ever had?' His voice sounded amused, and Tifa slowly turned around, ashen-faced to see Cloud leaning against the door, looking very pleased with himself.

'Cool.'

He smirked at her before exiting the room again, leaving Tifa to collapse her head in her hands, feeling very sick. She let out a small howl of embarrassment.

'I hate you guys.' She informed the other three, who were all shaking with silent hysteria.

'That- was- brilliant!' Yuffie choked, out of breath from laughing. The other two could hold it no longer and burst into loud roars of mirth. 'Good one, Tifa!'


End file.
